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Drunk ladies from poor villages like Rockford, IL on Derby | Reynolds godfishie eaten' benders.

Lippy’s Lessons | 18: My Favorite Word is BENDER and Labor Day is some Bowl Sheet, Y’all!

Y’all wondering if Sean Lippy be dead these days?  Guess what, nope.  My mother f**king ass has been working– unlike most of y’all.  I work for the greatest company of all, Derby | Reynolds.  We don’t take bullish!t public sector holidays off like “Labor Day”.  Hail naw, that’s some bowl sh!t.  Most of those mother […]

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Mr. Gordin thought Sean Lippy was gay. Mr. Gordin loves Motley Crüe.

Lippy’s Lessons | 17: Mr. Gordin is the Son of the Father

… and the Fathers of the Sons destroyed it all for their Sons to Fix but they can’t and they don’t and it won’t stop cause this is America and pastyassed sons of good ol’ boys be runnin Taco Johns and loving on Motley Crüe. Yo yo yo smothér sü©kers, this here Lippy Lesson goes […]

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Derby Birdie™:  Sent to save Sean Lippy's Sex Life

Lippy’s Lessons | 16: Springtime is here, and Lippy gonna git sum!

  Yawl feel me? That’s right. Winter is mother fucking over.  It feels like yesterday that me and T-Derbs were hunting for monster bucks and saw that orange-furred monster doe with the white dot on it.  Was it all a dream? Hail fucking no. What you think? Lippy don’t dream, he scheme, that’s right- I […]

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Lippy’s Lessons | 15: My successful 34 year old body and how I looks so good!

  Today the Rockford Register Star, a little town newsletter in the peasant region of Illinois bout fitty miles from Derby | Reynolds, axed me on the facebook dot commie, “Share your successes and struggles with weight loss here. Way to go, Angela!”  Now, I don’t knows who this Angela is because  wes have many […]

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The Official Derby | Reynolds Deer {Monster Buck}

Lippy’s Lessons | 14: Look at that monster buck o’er there, she sho do look like she tastes good!

Well hello!  It has been a long time for me, Sean Lippy, to talk to yous.  I have been bizzy helping Mr. Thom Derby hunt for deer this fall.  We sat up all night watching the monster buck series on the DVD back in September and he saids to me, “Seanny, you stick with me […]

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PUTTING THE $ BACK INTO $CIENCE  |  Official Derby | Reynolds Leaf

Lippy’s Lessons | 13: I gots drunk with my boy Barry and wrote a poem for Mr. Gordin last night

Ok yawl so I was gettin my drink on at Old Chicago last night with Barry.  That boy can drink.  We be hitting all the bars since the leaves started goin Derby orange on our ass.  We love Chile’s on Friday, Applebees on Tuesdays, Buffalo Wild Wings on Mondays and late tonight we fenda hit […]

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Facebook nerds and domestic peasants polluted the internet with Mr. Stevie's quotes, but Sean Lippy says, "

Lippy’s Lessons | 12: Mr. Stevie Jobs, I will mos def stay hungry & foolish at Derby Reynolds cuz peasant life aint for me!

“I be watching you on the internets of late after Stevie died and yawl gotta lotta nerve to quote the one man who broke all the rules while you sit back on your peasant lives being the same as everyone else.  Have you thought differently today? No.  Did you pass up your 3 egg and […]

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A fan of DERBY | REYNOLDS eats Sean Lippy's favorite ribs at Chili's during Sean and Alyssa party for her promotion to Jr. Account Executive.

Lippy’s Lessons | 11: Who are yous? I tell yous!

YAWL KNOW WASSUP?! Well, it’s Friday for one; secondly, there’s been some crazy bowl sheet going down at THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING.™ I’m not allowed to talk about it yet but when I dos, yawls will knows. We gonna be bigger than ever is all my ass fenda share with yous about Mr Thom and […]

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Lippy’s Lessons | 10: Bill Hicks already said it for me, “Scumbags.”

There’s some bowl sheet going down at DERBY | REYNOLDS. 1. LaVonne, she a rat! That old ho be ratting on me. 2. Big Bill Reynolds wants me out, but my boy T-Derby be standing up for me! Well I aints got nothin new to say to yawl bout all this shit that my main man […]

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Holy Advertising Firm! Non-profit is where it at, T-Derbs, my boy!

Lippy’s Lessons | 9: My boy, T-Derbs, & I fenda christian choke hold all yawl fake churches runnin’ around as ad firms.

Yawl miss me? Well. Lemme tell yawl what’s been up really quickly without swearing. Ok sos, LaVonne Hayes (rat) is a tattle teller. She be telling Mr. Reynolds I swears too much on the internets.  Last week, Mr. Reynolds went to my boy, T-Derbs, his company partner, and says, “We have to fire Sean. He’s […]

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