Lippy’s Lessons | 11: Who are yous? I tell yous!

A fan of DERBY | REYNOLDS eats Sean Lippy's favorite ribs at Chili's during Sean and Alyssa party for her promotion to Jr. Account Executive.

YAWL KNOW WASSUP?! Well, it’s Friday for one; secondly, there’s been some crazy bowl sheet going down at THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING.™ I’m not allowed to talk about it yet but when I dos, yawls will knows. We gonna be bigger than ever is all my ass fenda share with yous about Mr Thom and Mr. Bill’s business. Let’s keep this entry short shall we? HAIL NAW, I FENDA USE THIS SPACE TO WASTE YOUR TIME. Your?  Who are yous? I fenda tell yawl who yous really ares but are yous ready?  Here we gos.

Sean Lippy, I.T. Administrator

I have some exciting personal news first.  My girlfriend and Tuesday lunch nooner, Alyssa Sojahnowski, just got promoted to Jr. Account Executive!  Good job baby! You nailed that Embry-Riddle account in Houston! We fenda bring home the bacon together one day.  To celebrate we went to Chili’s and ordered 2 full racks of baby back ribs with a pitcher of Margaritas and a four sides of boneless buffalo wings. I took three of those chicken wings orders home- they even better warmed up in the toaster!  I hope she fenda get promoted all the time cause now all yawl knows how much I love the Chili’s!

Anyway, who are yawl?  I tell you now.  Most of you are afraid of Derby | Reynolds, and you should be. Especially ad firms from poor cities and fake churches acting as ad firms behind the born agains’ backs. That’s who you is, are, or will be if you aints already.  CONS. Some of you are christian cons.  MOMMIES. Some of you are hot wandering mommies.  DADDIES. Some of you are depressed unemployed daddies.  SALES REPS. Some of you are sad sales reps looking for new jobs, new smiles, and hooker boots. DESIGNERS.  Some of you are being bossed around by creative directors who possess poor tastes in music with their little bald balls and Birkenstock sandals with socks on– on dress down Fridays–yawl know who you be!  PARTYERS. Some of you are here to have a good laugh at the expense of scumbags and selfish ad men who go home to their families while the creative workforce stays up all night at the O.F.F.I.C.E. to beat their A.M. deadlines, for nothing in return- that shit ain’t fare and that shit aint free!

Some of you are here to agree with the DERBY | REYNOLDS WAY OF LIFE!  FUTURE CLIENTS. Some of you are looking to leave your current marketing provider and you should, because many of you are DERBY | REYNOLDS RACISTS. Yep. Yawl hate the color orange because we fenda remind yawl that capitalism invites competition, and we’re going to steal your clients and eat your marketing budgets with our brains. Something many of you forget to use.

Anyways, I gots to get the f*ck out of this office. TGIF– NAW WAIT YAWL- TGIWFDR&NYSW-AC
(Thank God I work for Derby | Reynolds and not your shady, white-assed company.)

Sean Lippy
I.T. Administrator
E:  [email protected]

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