Lippy’s Lessons | 14: Look at that monster buck o’er there, she sho do look like she tastes good!

The Official Derby | Reynolds Deer {Monster Buck}

The Official Derby | Reynolds Deer {Monster Buck}

Well hello!  It has been a long time for me, Sean Lippy, to talk to yous.  I have been bizzy helping Mr. Thom Derby hunt for deer this fall.  We sat up all night watching the monster buck series on the DVD back in September and he saids to me, “Seanny, you stick with me and we will find a 32 point buck to eat.”

AND WE DID!  Mr. Thom Derby is an amazing sharp shooter.  We killed 48 monster bucks but none were more satisfying than the big buck we spotted in October with a white dot on his orange fur.  We tracked him til the end of November and by golly we founds him. T. Derbs opted against killing him which surprised me, I was like, “Aw come on, Mr. Derby!  Lemme keel him? We can stuff him and hang him at the office- look at that white dot!  It’s all Derby | Reynolds!”  Mr. Derby taught me a very good lesson then, about grudges and bucks. About why it wasn’t the right time for that monster buck to go down like that.

Seanny boy, let me explain something to you about that special deer, standing there, taunting us to kill it. For what? For sport? For our families? For the WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING?  No, Sean, no.  That monster buck with 38 points on his antlers and a white dot on his orange fur isn’t ready to feed us.  Imagine it’s a client we don’t know yet- it’s leaving its herd to come to us, freely.   See what he has to offer, if he wastes our time on behalf of the competing ad firm, we will know. We are not here out of survival, we are here out of sport- capitalism invites competition.  There are many other bucks we shot that deserved to be processed into sweet, sweet venison meat for our Derby families.

You may disagree with me because that there monster buck, so special as it is, keeps comin back around, taunting us.  Now, we could easily snipe it if we want; but we shall wait.  Add up the occurrences, make it work for what it has coming.  Maybe next year, if it’s meant to be.  We will see her, and if the time is right, we will snipe her and stuff her and hang her in the office for all to praise like Moses’ people be doing at the mountain; because that there buck, she is beautiful, Sean.  Look at that orange fur, that white dot… it’s calling us, to act; but something seems too easy.  We shall wait before we throw the cake on her face. Yawl know watt eye ham saying Seanny! OL MY GOT! HAHAHA”

Sean Lippy, I.T. Administrator

Sean Lippy, I.T. Administrator

Aw calm awn, T. Derbs!  She look so delicious!  I do not know what you are saying! We are hunting, we are men, we are in the fields dressed up like Rambo had he ever dressed up in a colder climate.  I need to know what you mean, Thommy, please tell me.

Seanny, that there deer never did anything to you!  Wait for it to invite you into it’s world.  Wait for her to say bad things about you to the other creatures out here in the forest.  Come next fall, you will have heard it all.  Never be good at holding a grudge; rather, make like an Olympian copper medal winner, and hand it back to any and all judges, bucks, if warranted.  Retribution is much different from revenge out here in the forest–if what’s been delivered via words by monster bucks with big mouths are rooted solely in self-entitlement and disrespect for the simple ploy of destroying a character, the receiver is creatively warranted the rights to return it. Fuel for fire, the trick of the trade and time better spent if handled right. It’s everyone’s right to defend their character with their work, if warranted. Time is precious, so, make sure retribution stings a bit if it’s being handed back to its righteous (not rightful) owner. 

It can teach a lesson, but more often it only encourages drunken curve balls that don’t break at the knees to be thrown right back- those are fun. Catch ’em in mid flight and throw a fast ball right back– anywhere but in the strike zone  It’s all baseball, the next possible play is the one to play for.  2 wrongs never make a right but 1 of 2 wrongs can make a  delicious cake that still tastes amazing when it lands on the other person’s head.  In this case, when we nail that mother fucking buck with a delicious cake on it’s face!  

Now you axed me a very important question because you, Seanny, have been called the FREE GUY by other mother fucking scumbag ad firm owners disguised as hunters or clients . Well, I hope I have taught you well that if you be called the free guy, you are entitled to throw free shit you’ve been handed right back!  Yawl know what eye ham saying now, Seanny boy?

You bet your mother fucking ass I do, T. Derbs.  I sees what you are saying.  Even though I sees that there monster buck taunting me, talking shits about me to the other dumb ass monster bucks in the forest when they be getting their drunk on at night, I should let it go, wait til it comes around again, talking shit, and then throw some Betty Crocker Cream on it’s face.  I gets it now!  You are really telling me to hold back on stealing another ad firm’s clients when it’s too easy, that’s your real message, I gets you, T. Derbs!  I will let the clients come back to me, like this here monster buck with white dot on it’s orange fur.  I just hope those shady, assed scumbags who be running ad firms in poor towns are wearing they metal panties.

Mr. Derby always have the right things to say even when we be sitting out in the fields in our special John J. Rambos with our machine guns and bow and arrows.  That’s my boss and my boy, Thomas Derby, President of the YOUNITED $TATES OF DERBY | REYNOLDS!

Sean Lippy
I.T. Administrator
E:  [email protected]

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