Archive | September, 2012

METAL PANTIES 101: Lord Thom Derby Introduces Metal Panties Rules

Today’s 4th annual third Quarterly meeting had every single Derby | Reynolds employee hi-fiving, hugging and making out with each other after Lord Derby’s speech.  The CEO AND LORD OF ALL HERE AT THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING™ was in high form, smiling and yelling.  BElow is a transcription of his speech to us: “That’s right. […]

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Thom's other Lamboguinea, used for sales raids in poor villages, photographed by Jeremy in Rockford, IL

Kowalski’s Corner | 3: Lamboguinea

OUR KEYWORD SEARCH RESULT WINNER(s) OF THE MONTH OF AUGUST: “lamboguinea” Congratulations to 41 people who apparently found our company’s website in Google using that keyword.  We believe you were able to locate our site because our CEO and LORD OF ALL, Thomas Derby, has been seen driving his new, custom orange, Lamboguinea through poor […]

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Drunk ladies from poor villages like Rockford, IL on Derby | Reynolds godfishie eaten' benders.

Lippy’s Lessons | 18: My Favorite Word is BENDER and Labor Day is some Bowl Sheet, Y’all!

Y’all wondering if Sean Lippy be dead these days?  Guess what, nope.  My mother f**king ass has been working– unlike most of y’all.  I work for the greatest company of all, Derby | Reynolds.  We don’t take bullish!t public sector holidays off like “Labor Day”.  Hail naw, that’s some bowl sh!t.  Most of those mother […]

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