{"id":626,"date":"2012-03-22T10:54:57","date_gmt":"2012-03-22T15:54:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/?p=626"},"modified":"2012-03-22T11:34:50","modified_gmt":"2012-03-22T16:34:50","slug":"f-a-q-y-o-u-a-charitable-donations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/f-a-q-y-o-u-a-charitable-donations\/","title":{"rendered":"F.A.Q. By YOU$A: Does Derby | Reynolds Accept Charitable Donations From Sick, Dying Strangers, and 3rd World Country Leaders?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Nigerian<\/a>
Ever wondered what would happen if you replied to one of those emails that solicit money? Neil Forsyth, in the guise of his online alter ego Bob Servant, did just that...<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

NO.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

We have been contacted many times by kings, princes, and dying, nice elderly strangers who want to donate their remaining monies or possessions to our company. We do not accept such here at AMERICA’S COMPANY, Derby | Reynolds. \u00a0Our fearless leader, Thom Derby, states, “We believe in a God Damned motto that I made up drunk one night that if we can’t fit it in a casket, we don’t want it. Take your filthy monies and your leftover garbage somewhere else because we believe in putting the $ back into YOU$A, not U$!\u2122”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

We hope that helps anyone understand our position about accepting charitable donations. \u00a0See below. An email exchange between an inquiring, dying, mind and our hot-assed Jr. Account Sales Exectutive Rep, Alyssa Sojahnowski.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Hello, Mrs. Kruger,<\/p>\n

Thank you for contacting us.\u00a0We hope you are alive and well still.\u00a0Thank you as well for your nice offer but we don’t accept financial or material donations, nor participate in charitable activities because we are capitalists at DERBY | REYNOLDS. We are not a non-profit organization. \u00a0You should seek out the RED CROSS, they are a hybrid, socialist business model that likes to help people and make money too. \u00a0We like to make money, and money only. \u00a0We enjoy helping people put the $ back into YOU$A, but not back into U$\u2122. Thank you though for your dying considerations.<\/p>\n

Take care and good luck with the rest of your time on earth, there’s a better place waiting for you.<\/p>\n

Alyssa Sojahnowski
\n<\/strong>Jr. Account Sales Executive Rep
\n<\/em>e: <\/strong>\u00a0asojahnowski@derbyreynolds.com<\/p>\n

_________________________________________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n

DERBY \u00a0| \u00a0REYNOLDS<\/span>
\n<\/strong>Marketing Solutions For a World Gone Mad
\n<\/em>THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING\u2122 – AMERICA’S COMPANY\u2122 – PUTTING THE $ BACK INTO YOU$A!\u2122
\nhttp:\/\/www.derbyreynolds.com<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

\n

—– Original Message —–<\/p>\n

From:<\/strong>\u00a0elizabeth.kruger@rocketmail.com
\nTo:<\/strong><asojahnowski@derbyreynolds.com>
\nCc:
\n<\/strong>Sent:<\/strong>Thu, 9 Feb 2012 12:31:55 +0100
\nSubject: <\/strong>i am dying\u00a0Contact me for money<\/p>\n

My name is Mrs. Elizabeth KrUger;I am 69 years old\u00a0dying widow who have being diagnosed with cancer,I have decided to donate what i have to you for charitable Work, contact me for details<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NO. We have been contacted many times by kings, princes, and dying, nice elderly strangers who want to donate their […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":628,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[110],"tags":[112,113,114,115,116,117,35,111],"class_list":["post-626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-f-a-q-by-youa","tag-prince","tag-kings","tag-sick-people","tag-alyssa-sojahnowski","tag-neil-forsyth","tag-bob-servant","tag-news","tag-nigerian-emails"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=626"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":637,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626\/revisions\/637"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}