{"id":446,"date":"2011-07-28T18:03:18","date_gmt":"2011-07-28T23:03:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/?p=446"},"modified":"2011-07-28T18:21:01","modified_gmt":"2011-07-28T23:21:01","slug":"lippys-lessons-8-chinga-tu-madre-lavonne-chinga-tu-madre-rat-ho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/lippys-lessons-8-chinga-tu-madre-lavonne-chinga-tu-madre-rat-ho\/","title":{"rendered":"Lippy’s Lessons | 8: Chinga Tu Madre, Lavonne! Chinga Tu Madre, You Rat Ho!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Lippy<\/a>
Sean Lippy, I.T. Administrator<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yawl prolly know wassup today.\u00a0 LaVonne be rattin on me and sh!t.<\/a><\/strong> Old Ho told Big Bill Reynolds, one of our company’s founding fathers, that I be swearing up a storm in this house.\u00a0 Yawl know what? I am.<\/p>\n

LaVonne has had it out for me since day 1.<\/a> I even wrote about it last week. She be trippin on my words for weeks. I know for fact she a pasty-a$$ed old ho who wishes she had a baby 3o years ago but now she 55 and single; she be spendin her whole life makin money fo the man. I ain’t her baby boy nor am I her employee. I’m Sean Madre Chinga-ing Lippy, I.T. Administrator. She be tattle tellin on me and my language and now ol’ Bill Reynolds wants me fired. <\/a>HAIL NAW.\u00a0 SHE CRAYZY.<\/p>\n

I like Bill but I have 2 theories as of today. 1) LaVonne Hayes be fuckin Bill outside of company hours, influencing his mind and shit tryin to tell him silly putty nonsense about being his own man, running his own show without my boy Thom Derby.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong> 2) OR Big Bill Reynolds has a thing for Alyssa Sojahnowski in Human Resources; especially after he got a\u00a0 sneak peak of her body in a swimming suit at the Cayman Islands Company Retreat last month.<\/span><\/a> That pervert gave her a beer koozie and all she had to do was look pretty? HAIL NAW. I think he want my Lyssa baby too!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever it is, my madre chinging a$$ aint goin nowhere cause my boy Thom be standing up for me. There ain’t no way on hail he gonna let Bill fire me. Especially since it would be against the Derby | Reynolds Company Creed<\/strong><\/a> < If yawl missed it, click there to read it.<\/p>\n

Mr. D says to me today, “Sean, you are my boy, there is no way they can fire you for your swearing. in the meantime I need you to swear, or try to, in other languages. You have earned that right after all the shit you’ve taken in the trenches of advertising and marketing. All the morons you’ve had to help over the years with their internet connections. You are my boy, and my partner Bill will not be allowed to fire you because LaVonne keeps ratting on your language.\u00a0 I love your language, Sean, you define my vision for what Derby | Reynolds should be: in-your-face marketing.\u00a0 Bill & I have some Company Creed issues to sort through because his vision, whether LaVonne is skewing it with her pussy or not, is not the same vision he collaborated to form with me.\u00a0 I’ve known Big Bill for over 30 years… this shocks me as much as everyone. If the peasants don’t like it, <\/span>what would Sean Chinga To Madre Lippy say?<\/strong>” Yawl know what I say cause I don’t play nice, I play real. “Exactly, Sean, exactly. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go chinga LaVonne Hayes’ sister for lunch<\/span><\/em>“<\/span> We laughed like little boys. Mr. D is the man!<\/p>\n

\"Seanhahaha\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I want yawl to know that since Thom is representing me in this company dispute, I have to cool it down on the swearing for a bit till they be figurin out they bowl sheet. It’s gonna be tough but I intend to start now because Mr. Derby be goin to bat for me. I may even cut out my abuse of the hillbillybonics language that I have been scripting in my downtime… hail naw!<\/strong><\/span> I aint gots time for hillbillys or homies, I am Sean Chinga Tu Madre Lippy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe tomorrow I will know how to swear in old ho language, stay tuned.<\/p>\n

Sean Lippy
\nI.T. Administrator
\nDerby | Reynolds<\/strong>
\nE:\u00a0<\/strong> seanlippy@derbyreynolds.com<\/p>\n

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Yawl prolly know wassup today.\u00a0 LaVonne be rattin on me and sh!t. Old Ho told Big Bill Reynolds, one of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":345,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[35,39,40,56],"class_list":["post-446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lippy","tag-news","tag-lippys-lessons","tag-sean-lippy","tag-lippy-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=446"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":451,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions\/451"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derbyreynolds.com\/marketing-solutions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}