March 19, 2012
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
OUR KEYWORD SEARCH RESULT WINNER(s) OF THE WEEK!* “make italian nachos” Congratulations to the 19 people who apparently found our company’s website in google using that keyword phrase. We believe you were able to locate our site because our legendary I.T. admin, Sean Lippy, has written many times about his love for ‘”Talian Nachos“. Read […]
July 15, 2011
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
Friday funday at the office can be a bit tricky. Half the staff likes to sport they orange polos with the white dots, that’s the way they be dressin down round this bitch but I don’t wear polos. Fuck that shit, I like to cover up my arms in a nice dress shirt even if […]
June 6, 2016
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
June 6th, 2016 ©O®®É@ YOU$A™ HQ PRE$$ RELEASE Dear Jesus, future mayor of Rockford, a poor village located south of the Wisconsin-Illinois border: Your LORD and CEO of ALL in the YOU$A is here to help you market the market with your emotionally positive civic pride— sans public charity and federal grants. My company and […]
April 29, 2016
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
Account Executives (AEs) and Marketing Directors at Derby Reynolds — THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING™ must adhere to a strict daily schedule. Below is a daily list of events provided by our extremely attractive Jr. Sales Rep of Accounts and Executively Positive Behaviors, Alyssa Sojahnowski, to help anyone who is interested in becoming a successful AE […]
September 3, 2012
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
Y’all wondering if Sean Lippy be dead these days? Guess what, nope. My mother f**king ass has been working– unlike most of y’all. I work for the greatest company of all, Derby | Reynolds. We don’t take bullish!t public sector holidays off like “Labor Day”. Hail naw, that’s some bowl sh!t. Most of those mother […]
May 30, 2012
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
… and the Fathers of the Sons destroyed it all for their Sons to Fix but they can’t and they don’t and it won’t stop cause this is America and pastyassed sons of good ol’ boys be runnin Taco Johns and loving on Motley Crüe. Yo yo yo smothér sü©kers, this here Lippy Lesson goes […]
January 24, 2012
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
Today the Rockford Register Star, a little town newsletter in the peasant region of Illinois bout fitty miles from Derby | Reynolds, axed me on the facebook dot commie, “Share your successes and struggles with weight loss here. Way to go, Angela!” Now, I don’t knows who this Angela is because wes have many […]
November 10, 2011
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
Ok yawl so I was gettin my drink on at Old Chicago last night with Barry. That boy can drink. We be hitting all the bars since the leaves started goin Derby orange on our ass. We love Chile’s on Friday, Applebees on Tuesdays, Buffalo Wild Wings on Mondays and late tonight we fenda hit […]
July 26, 2011
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
P.R. RELEASE 07-26-2011 Hello everyone, it’s me again, LaVonne Hayes, Director of Public Relations here at heaven on earth, DERBY | REYNOLDS. Some of our Northern Illinois Regional Reps have been the recipients of negative comments of late, one was threatened (click here to read more about that incident), and another consumer from that poor […]
July 14, 2011
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Posted by: Derby Reynolds
Hello, my name is LaVonne Hayes, P.R. Director for DERBY | REYNOLDS. We’ve received some interesting inquiries lately about our message, “THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING”. Mr. Derby & Williams have asked me to release a statement about such matters. Today we received another comment. This one came attached with a name, most don’t. So, to […]