Search results: alyssa sojahnowski

A Day in the Life of an Account Executive (AE) According to Alyssa Sojahnowski, Derby | Reynolds’ Sexiest AE

Account Executives (AEs) and Marketing Directors at Derby Reynolds — THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING™ must adhere to a strict daily schedule. Below is a daily list of events provided by our extremely attractive Jr. Sales Rep of Accounts and Executively Positive Behaviors, Alyssa Sojahnowski, to help anyone who is interested in becoming a successful AE […]

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Mr. Gordin thought Sean Lippy was gay. Mr. Gordin loves Motley Crüe.

Lippy’s Lessons | 17: Mr. Gordin is the Son of the Father

… and the Fathers of the Sons destroyed it all for their Sons to Fix but they can’t and they don’t and it won’t stop cause this is America and pastyassed sons of good ol’ boys be runnin Taco Johns and loving on Motley Crüe. Yo yo yo smothér sü©kers, this here Lippy Lesson goes […]

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'I am the only son of late King Arawi'

F.A.Q. By YOU$A: Does Derby | Reynolds Accept Charitable Donations From Sick, Dying Strangers, and 3rd World Country Leaders?

NO. We have been contacted many times by kings, princes, and dying, nice elderly strangers who want to donate their remaining monies or possessions to our company. We do not accept such here at AMERICA’S COMPANY, Derby | Reynolds.  Our fearless leader, Thom Derby, states, “We believe in a God Damned motto that I made […]

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Derby Birdie™:  Sent to save Sean Lippy's Sex Life

Lippy’s Lessons | 16: Springtime is here, and Lippy gonna git sum!

  Yawl feel me? That’s right. Winter is mother fucking over.  It feels like yesterday that me and T-Derbs were hunting for monster bucks and saw that orange-furred monster doe with the white dot on it.  Was it all a dream? Hail fucking no. What you think? Lippy don’t dream, he scheme, that’s right- I […]

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A fan of DERBY | REYNOLDS eats Sean Lippy's favorite ribs at Chili's during Sean and Alyssa party for her promotion to Jr. Account Executive.

Lippy’s Lessons | 11: Who are yous? I tell yous!

YAWL KNOW WASSUP?! Well, it’s Friday for one; secondly, there’s been some crazy bowl sheet going down at THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING.™ I’m not allowed to talk about it yet but when I dos, yawls will knows. We gonna be bigger than ever is all my ass fenda share with yous about Mr Thom and […]

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Jeff Tethernick Swoons Embry-Riddle in Houston, Texas

The Color Orange (aka, DERBY | REYNOLDS) made a huge impression Friday night, Aug. 5th, in Houston, Texas.  Jeff Tethernick, head of our Accounting Department, had been vacating with his family when a chance encounter with a foul ball at a Houston Astros game led his son, Vince, into the arms of one of the […]

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Lippy’s Lessons | 8: Chinga Tu Madre, Lavonne! Chinga Tu Madre, You Rat Ho!

Yawl prolly know wassup today.  LaVonne be rattin on me and sh!t. Old Ho told Big Bill Reynolds, one of our company’s founding fathers, that I be swearing up a storm in this house.  Yawl know what? I am. LaVonne has had it out for me since day 1. I even wrote about it last […]

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Ad firm owner in Rockford, IL threatens DERBY | REYNOLDS agent and calls our company foul names!

“I didn’t think Advertising and Marketing would be a threat to my family, safety and livelihood- but I forgot that I live in Rockford, IL.” An angry, ad firm owner from Rockford, IL, physically approached one of our off-duty regional marketing reps on June 7th, 2011 in the late morning.  No body contact was made […]

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Career Opportunities

Derby | Reynolds is hiring as always! Positions available now but are you willing to make something out of nothing? Thom Derby & Bill Reynolds did!   286 Regional Sales & Marketing Positions We are currently fulfilling sales positions all over the United States. You must be good looking and multi-cultural (that would help us […]

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NEWS: New Team Members Added & Still Hiring!

Do you have what it takes to be a part of a team that will become THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING™? Do you like the hyphen we added between Wal and Mart? WE DO. Derby | Reynolds Marketing Solutions is proud to announce expansion into the North Eastern Illinois, South Central Iowa and North Western Wisconsin […]

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