Boosting Career Value Begins by Being the Carrot, Not a Rabbit

Jobs are no different than carrots. Like rabbits, we humans work through gravel, grass, sand, water and dirt to find the nicest carrot that fits our needs. Finding the best, healthiest, most nutritional carrot might be as easy as becoming the carrot–instead of always thinking you must be the rabbit. In fact, you should become as many carrots as you want to be to lure as many rabbits to your garden of goodies.

But how? How do I stick out from the rest in an over-saturated pool of talent–er–rabbits?” Easy– you must become a carrot and here’s how. Let’s start with two key life and career gardening lessons to disregard:

First impressions are everything,” and “Never unlock the door for strangers.

  1. First offthrow that last piece of advice out the window. Privacy is medieval and should be banned from all modern business practices. It’s time to sacrifice your privacy for the better good of every stranger on the internet in order to be the carrot you want to be in order to attract the most qualified of strangers to collect, store and sell your data. That’s right. To be the carrot, you must free the carrot to be found easier by silly wittle wabbits. (See or be seen, choose the latter.)
  2. Secondlydelete your current profile photo (on all of your social media accounts, including to insure becoming the vegetable I’m advising you to be in no time. (Note: Some people call them #SELFIES. Whatever, delete it.) Once you’ve deleted your cutest, prettiest, sexiest, most handsome, good looking photo of yourself (that you once thought would increase your hire-ability), I am asking you to save this pretty carrot below that I illustrated for you with my bare hands to your desktop or device. Add this image that I’ve made for you to all of your online accounts where your sexy and handsome #SELFIE once existed. Tah-dah, done.

My proven strategy for increasing hire-ability online has been tested to remove all face-to-face interactions (human nonsense) while increasing digital interaction amongst rabbits to come nibbling on your carrot(s). Your career is destined to skyrocket like veggies created from bare hands that began their careers as seeds planted below the earth’s fertile soil, to be ripped up and out by a silly wittle wabbit.

Craysee wittle wabbits!

Trust me, you will find that great job with my advice– and yes, if you were wondering: My business tip is cross-platform responsive and meets society’s always-shifting trends to consistently lose sight of personal and professional privacy, ethics and old-fashioned common sense.

Remember: First impressions are everything, but the worst impressions last forever. Be the carrot, don’t be the rabbit.

You’re welcome,

Lord Thomas Derby
CEO and LORD of All

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