Tag Archives: rockford
Derby-Reynolds_Jesus-Correa

Jesus Correa — 2017 Rockford Mayoral Candidate

June 6th, 2016 ©O®®É@ YOU$A™ HQ PRE$$ RELEASE Dear Jesus, future mayor of Rockford, a poor village located south of the Wisconsin-Illinois border: Your LORD and CEO of ALL in the YOU$A is here to help you market the market with your emotionally positive civic pride— sans public charity and federal grants. My company and […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
image12808.jpg

We Must $ave the Village of Rockford in Illinois to Preserve the Economic Health of $chaumburg!

Dear LinkedIn community; or shall I address you here within as LIC? I write to you, LIC, with economic and logical concerns for the village of Rockford in Illinois, about fifty miles from my company’s headquarters in sunny Schaumburg of Illinois. Emotion and delusion is running rampant amongst the peasants and is spreading outwards towards […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
Mr. Gordin thought Sean Lippy was gay. Mr. Gordin loves Motley Crüe.

Lippy’s Lessons | 17: Mr. Gordin is the Son of the Father

… and the Fathers of the Sons destroyed it all for their Sons to Fix but they can’t and they don’t and it won’t stop cause this is America and pastyassed sons of good ol’ boys be runnin Taco Johns and loving on Motley Crüe. Yo yo yo smothér sü©kers, this here Lippy Lesson goes […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
embry_derby

Jeff Tethernick Swoons Embry-Riddle in Houston, Texas

The Color Orange (aka, DERBY | REYNOLDS) made a huge impression Friday night, Aug. 5th, in Houston, Texas.  Jeff Tethernick, head of our Accounting Department, had been vacating with his family when a chance encounter with a foul ball at a Houston Astros game led his son, Vince, into the arms of one of the […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
united-states-of-derby-reynolds_U$A

PUTTING THE $ BACK INTO YOU$A™!

THE UNITED $TATES OF DERBY | REYNOLD$™! While your country is celebrating freedom, fast food, real estate, banking, porn, greed, religion, or hell, even while your marketing dollars are being misspent by ad firm owners on 4 day benders, DERBY | REYNOLDS is putting the $ back in the YOU$A™! That’s right! We are teaming up […]

4 Comments Continue Reading →
368616084v2147483647_480x480_Front_Color-White

JULY Newsletter from Our Company Presidents

{READ JUNE’S LETTER}JULY 2011 Dear workforce, June was an unbelievable month for DERBY | REYNOLDS. We tried to save a very poor region in Illinois called Rockford but had to retreat due to labor threats made by competing ad firm owners and churches acting as ad firms.  They must’ve not read the book (in college) […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
Derby-Reynolds_Ad_Rockford

SALES TEAM RAIDS N. IL’S ROCK RIVER VALLEY!

Seeking sales revenge on ad firms that threaten our regional reps’ livelihoods in poor cities like Rockford, IL! WE ARE COMING FOR YOUR CLIENTS AND YOUR UNHAPPY EMPLOYEES SINCE YOU ARE THREATENING OUR AGENTS AND CAUSING THEM TO RESIGN BECAUSE THEY FEEL UNSAFE TO WORK IN A MARKET THAT CATERS TO EXECUTIVE AD FIRM OWNING SAVAGES! […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
Derby-Reynolds_Ad_Rockford

Ad firm owner in Rockford, IL threatens DERBY | REYNOLDS agent and calls our company foul names!

“I didn’t think Advertising and Marketing would be a threat to my family, safety and livelihood- but I forgot that I live in Rockford, IL.” An angry, ad firm owner from Rockford, IL, physically approached one of our off-duty regional marketing reps on June 7th, 2011 in the late morning.  No body contact was made […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →