Derby | Reynolds

Thomas Derby, CEO AND LORD OF ALL IN THE YOU$A™, Buys Custom Orange Lamborghini To Replace Custom Orange H2 Hummers! Thomas Derby, the CEO & LORD of all here at DerbyReynolds.com, has decided to raid poor villages in America with his new custom orange Lamborghini.  During today’s 3.875 hour creative production meeting, Thom announced: “I […]

Everyone at DERBY | M*THER F*CKING | REYNOLDS are proud to announce our new capitalist marketing campaign called… 90% OFF THE 1 PERCENT’S COST!  There’s a catch and it’s aimed at public school districts, state, and city government department marketing budgets!  We don’t want to help other capitalist companies, we are seeking to assist tax-payer […]

Mr. Thom Derby happily announces the new division, “Derby | Reynolds – Marketing Solutions, A Division of DERBY | REYNOLDS”! As of October 1st, 2011, we here at Derby | Reynolds – Marketing Solutions, a Division of DERBY | REYNOLDS, will specialize in providing the global marketplace a place to rest your weary head, a […]

The Color Orange (aka, DERBY | REYNOLDS) made a huge impression Friday night, Aug. 5th, in Houston, Texas.  Jeff Tethernick, head of our Accounting Department, had been vacating with his family when a chance encounter with a foul ball at a Houston Astros game led his son, Vince, into the arms of one of the […]

Derby | Reynolds’ Founding Fathers (Company Partners), Thomas Derby & William Reynolds, Punched Each Other Last Night After Arguing About Sean Lippy’s Language On the Internets. P.R. Release: 07.28.2011 Breaking news here at the company home front.  Thom Derby & Bill Reynolds had a heated argument last night regarding our I.T. Administrator’s language here on […]

Hello everyone, it’s me again, LaVonne Hayes, the P.R. Director for this wonderful ripe tomato on a vine called DERBY | REYNOLDS.  I’ve been busy of late replying to Derby | Reynolds Racists (people who hate our colorful company). I do feel bad for these people… peasants, maybe.  Poor regions breed peasants. So sad!  Well […]

P.R. RELEASE 07-26-2011 Hello everyone, it’s me again, LaVonne Hayes, Director of Public Relations here at heaven on earth, DERBY | REYNOLDS.  Some of our Northern Illinois Regional Reps have been the recipients of negative comments of late, one was threatened (click here to read more about that incident), and another consumer from that poor […]

P.R. RELEASE:  06-20-2011: Justin Vernon of Bon Iver Sports our Orange Polo With a White dot on Colbert Report! Bon Iver, the alternative and independent R&B-80s folk-pop-metal band from Wisconsin (the land of Badgers and Packers and beautiful concrete roads) debuted their lead off single, “Calgary”, from their recent 2011 release on 06-20-2011 for Comedy […]

Hello, my name is LaVonne Hayes, P.R. Director for DERBY | REYNOLDS. We’ve received some interesting inquiries lately about our message, “THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING”. Mr. Derby & Williams have asked me to release a statement about such matters. Today we received another comment. This one came attached with a name, most don’t. So, to […]

THE UNITED $TATES OF DERBY | REYNOLD$™! While your country is celebrating freedom, fast food, real estate, banking, porn, greed, religion, or hell, even while your marketing dollars are being misspent by ad firm owners on 4 day benders, DERBY | REYNOLDS is putting the $ back in the YOU$A™! That’s right! We are teaming up […]