Archive | Company News RSS feed for this section

NEW COMPANY CAR! Introducing the 2012 Derby Lamboguinea™

Thomas Derby, CEO AND LORD OF ALL IN THE YOU$A™, Buys Custom Orange Lamborghini To Replace Custom Orange H2 Hummers! Thomas Derby, the CEO & LORD of all here at, has decided to raid poor villages in America with his new custom orange Lamborghini.  During today’s 3.875 hour creative production meeting, Thom announced: “I […]

2 Comments Continue Reading →
90% Off


Everyone at DERBY | M*THER F*CKING | REYNOLDS are proud to announce our new capitalist marketing campaign called… 90% OFF THE 1 PERCENT’S COST!  There’s a catch and it’s aimed at public school districts, state, and city government department marketing budgets!  We don’t want to help other capitalist companies, we are seeking to assist tax-payer […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
Thom Derby and Bill Reynolds, like trees in the prime of their careers, split the company into 2 Divisions

A Letter from Thomas Derby regarding the split of Derby | Reynolds into 2 Divisions

Mr. Thom Derby happily announces the new division, “Derby | Reynolds – Marketing Solutions, A Division of DERBY | REYNOLDS”! As of October 1st, 2011, we here at Derby | Reynolds – Marketing Solutions, a Division of DERBY | REYNOLDS, will specialize in providing the global marketplace a place to rest your weary head, a […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →

Jeff Tethernick Swoons Embry-Riddle in Houston, Texas

The Color Orange (aka, DERBY | REYNOLDS) made a huge impression Friday night, Aug. 5th, in Houston, Texas.  Jeff Tethernick, head of our Accounting Department, had been vacating with his family when a chance encounter with a foul ball at a Houston Astros game led his son, Vince, into the arms of one of the […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →
L>R: Thomas Derby and William Reynolds first met at  Leo Burnett, date of photo unknown though the office rumor is 1982, Chicago.  The ties reveal the origin of the Derby | Reynolds logo.

Trouble On The Homefront: Bill & Thom, Our Founding Fathers, Disagree & Wrestle Each Other

Derby | Reynolds’ Founding Fathers (Company Partners), Thomas Derby & William Reynolds, Punched Each Other Last Night After Arguing About Sean Lippy’s Language On the Internets. P.R. Release: 07.28.2011 Breaking news here at the company home front.  Thom Derby & Bill Reynolds had a heated argument last night regarding our I.T. Administrator’s language here on […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →

There’s no Value & Respect in Advertising; There’s Only the Color of Money, & it is Orange.

Hello everyone, it’s me again, LaVonne Hayes, the P.R. Director for this wonderful ripe tomato on a vine called DERBY | REYNOLDS.  I’ve been busy of late replying to Derby | Reynolds Racists (people who hate our colorful company). I do feel bad for these people… peasants, maybe.  Poor regions breed peasants. So sad!  Well […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →

Derby | Reynolds Racists Have Emotions, Customers are Right, But Derby | Reynolds Racists are 100% Wrong.

P.R. RELEASE 07-26-2011 Hello everyone, it’s me again, LaVonne Hayes, Director of Public Relations here at heaven on earth, DERBY | REYNOLDS.  Some of our Northern Illinois Regional Reps have been the recipients of negative comments of late, one was threatened (click here to read more about that incident), and another consumer from that poor […]

2 Comments Continue Reading →

The Bon Iver of Orange Company Work Polo Shirts Debuts on TV

P.R. RELEASE:  06-20-2011: Justin Vernon of Bon Iver Sports our Orange Polo With a White dot on Colbert Report! Bon Iver, the alternative and independent R&B-80s folk-pop-metal band from Wisconsin (the land of Badgers and Packers and beautiful concrete roads) debuted their lead off single, “Calgary”, from their recent 2011 release on 06-20-2011 for Comedy […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →

Why would you want to compare yourself to Walmart?

Hello, my name is LaVonne Hayes, P.R. Director for DERBY | REYNOLDS. We’ve received some interesting inquiries lately about our message, “THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING”. Mr. Derby & Williams have asked me to release a statement about such matters. Today we received another comment. This one came attached with a name, most don’t. So, to […]

Leave a comment Continue Reading →


THE UNITED $TATES OF DERBY | REYNOLD$™! While your country is celebrating freedom, fast food, real estate, banking, porn, greed, religion, or hell, even while your marketing dollars are being misspent by ad firm owners on 4 day benders, DERBY | REYNOLDS is putting the $ back in the YOU$A™! That’s right! We are teaming up […]

4 Comments Continue Reading →