Derby | Reynolds

Hello again, this is Sean Edward Lippy, IT Administrator for DERBY | REYNOLDS, checking in to relieve some office stress. I’ve been drinking questionable coffee again today so forgive me ahead of time before my mother fucking mouth goes off the rails. How hard is it for your office manager to make sure that the […]

Hello, I am Sean Lippy, IT Administrator for THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING. This is my first entry. Welcome to my corner of the world, where functionality trumps cosmetics in Marketing & Advertising. What does that mean?  MY JOB IS TO ENSURE (NOT TO INSURE– ENSURE IS A WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT THAN INSURE, AMERICAN’T) EVERYTHING IS […]

THE UNITED $TATES OF DERBY | REYNOLD$™! While your country is celebrating freedom, fast food, real estate, banking, porn, greed, religion, or hell, even while your marketing dollars are being misspent by ad firm owners on 4 day benders, DERBY | REYNOLDS is putting the $ back in the YOU$A™! That’s right! We are teaming up […]

{READ JUNE’S LETTER}JULY 2011 Dear workforce, June was an unbelievable month for DERBY | REYNOLDS. We tried to save a very poor region in Illinois called Rockford but had to retreat due to labor threats made by competing ad firm owners and churches acting as ad firms.  They must’ve not read the book (in college) […]

Seeking sales revenge on ad firms that threaten our regional reps’ livelihoods in poor cities like Rockford, IL! WE ARE COMING FOR YOUR CLIENTS AND YOUR UNHAPPY EMPLOYEES SINCE YOU ARE THREATENING OUR AGENTS AND CAUSING THEM TO RESIGN BECAUSE THEY FEEL UNSAFE TO WORK IN A MARKET THAT CATERS TO EXECUTIVE AD FIRM OWNING SAVAGES! […]

On the granola trail in Ridgway, Colorado! Now seeking rich, white birkenstock wearing, granola bar eating businesses who want to save 50% off our competitors estimates now!

Honk for hot deals, Chicago! It’s not all fun & games for our regional reps.  In between helping poor cities like Rockford, IL, we take the time to visit historical and financially successful capitalist landmarks.

“I didn’t think Advertising and Marketing would be a threat to my family, safety and livelihood- but I forgot that I live in Rockford, IL.” An angry, ad firm owner from Rockford, IL, physically approached one of our off-duty regional marketing reps on June 7th, 2011 in the late morning.  No body contact was made […]

If you see an orange hummer with a white polka dot driving through your cities, honk for hot deals.  Our most successful regional reps travel in packs to save money on travel and gas while saving your businesses 50% of the marketing costs the other guys are quoting you. Unlike other hummers, our eco-friendly sales […]

Bill & I want to thank you for a great first half of the year!  Our dreams we share with you and your businesses are helping you save drastically on your marketing dollars while helping us become THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING! We began this company in the heart of the recession, seeking solutions.  Our solution […]