Dear Jesus, future mayor of Rockford, a poor village located south of the Wisconsin-Illinois border:
Your LORD and CEO of ALL in the YOU$A is here to help you market the market with your emotionally positive civic pride— sans public charity and federal grants.
My company and its entire staff will ensure that you receive political marketing strategeries, metal panties®, ‘Italian nachos, mexican strombolis, lattes, potato pizzas, hand-written scripts containing marketing messages to sell the community the emotions they need to supplement the lack of opportunities—YOUR CITY, YOUR STORIES—nice tees, signage, stickers to pollute the YOUTUBEs, INTERNETS, and VISION RALLIES!
We will host real, original, excellent vision stuff with power point transformations, ETSY and YouTubes Classes combined into one big online reputation management project to win you the 22,000 estimated, registered votes that you will need to represent the city’s 150,000+ population. About 120,000+ unregistered voters exist. If we can convince them to care less about fast food restaurant openings by registering to vote for you, that is a win—and a historical, proud American victory—for all.
Why burn the city down when blowing it up with free marketing is an option? We are here for you.
Derby | Reynolds proudly endorses Jesus Correa, Green Party Candidate for Rockford, IL’s 2017 Mayoral Election!
Lord Thomas Derby
CEO and LORD of ALL in the YOU$A™
Derby | Reynolds – THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING