Facebook nerds and domestic peasants polluted the internet with Mr. Stevie's quotes, but Sean Lippy says:
“I be watching you on the internets of late after Stevie died and yawl gotta lotta nerve to quote the one man who broke all the rules while you sit back on your peasant lives being the same as everyone else. Have you thought differently today? No. Did you pass up your 3 egg and bacon breakfast because you’d rather have the STEAK BUFFET?! No. MORE IMPORTANTLY, have you been foolish? No. Yawl lame, Quoting Steve on facebook dot com, while living your dull, domestic, peasant lives is an offense to the weirdos and nerds everywhere.” – Sean Lippy
Yo yo yo! What is up with all of you doggies today? Word? I have many words to share since I last checked in with yawl. First and foremost, how are all my favorite mother fuckers doing? That’s nice, I am doing great- thank you for asking. See how I swore there? A while back some of yous may remember me having to calm down on the naughty words but big things have gone down at THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING, and Iwas asked to keep it quiet for a bit till the legal nonsense subsided.
My boy, T-Derbs and his long time business partner, Big Ol’ Bill Reynolds, separated Derby | Reynolds into 2 division. I work for my boy’s division, Marketing Solutions. Big Bill fends to launch his division, Marketing Services, pretty soon. Bill was not on the same page with Thom, and started making crazy demands like, firing me. Truth be told, Big Bill is having night time relations and daytime naps with that old ho, LaVonne Hayes, in Public Relations! Gramma LaVonne has been wanting me fired since day 1, but now she and Bill aints my problems anymore. Thom Derby decided his best interests laid in continuing to provide publishing, industry critique, and satire with the Marketing Solutions division. We aims to help professional creatives in need of respite from the shitty ethics that they be victims to. Thom said to me, “Seanny, you don’t worry, your job is safe with me. Continue telling the industry what you think about it. They need a dose of their own ass in their face.” T-Derbs, my boy, always be giving it back to the scumbags like Bill Hicks used to do! Thommy boy just released a statement, read more.
I have so much more to share but isn’t it sad about mister Stevie Jobs? The King of all Nerds, my favorite American I.T. icon. His path truly inspired my own. Let me recap for yous how Stevie and I are so alike. I dropped out of college to backpack Europe, met some good times, ate some shrooms, dreamt of small computers, nice butts, and big boobs. I slept with a different girl in each European city and then came back to America to take over the I.T. world with my innovative ideas. And here I am! Talking to you- I am Sean Mother Fucking Lippy, I.T. ADMINISTRATOR for DERBY | REYNOLDS – MARKETING SOLUTIONS, A DIVISION OF DERBY | REYNOLDS. Damn! Typing that shit is long.
One time I faced with a terrible decision to make and I had to tell myself, “What would Stevie do? (WWSD?)” So I chose the orange ethernet cables because they matched DERBY REYNOLDS polo shirts. Very tough decision because I don’t wear polo shirts. Mr. T Derby let’s me wear custom stitched logos on my white collar dress shirts. I have been faced with many WWSD? situations in my brilliant career and each time he has brought me to a peaceful intergalactic place with my decisions.
Everyday around 10am I rely on 2 key pieces of advice Stevie boy shared with me on YouTube a few years ago; he said, “stay hungry, stay foolish.” I do! I do! And you know what? Luckily I work for a man by the name of Thomas Derby who believes in the same. I can’t say the same for the region of the world we work out of. Some desperate, conservative thinking, complacent idea men and women thinking they shit don’t stink, but it does! Yo shit is stinking up the midwest! Lemme explain, We want nothing to do with ad men peasants and poor, uneducated business men from Rockford, IL. We’d love to help them- but they don’t want help so we are going to eat their lunch and dinners for breakfast- and we still be hungry! We do not want to PUT THE $ BACK INTO THE YOUSA anymore because yawl peasants have no idea what it means to “stay hungry, stay foolish.”
Nope.
Sean Lippy, I.T. Administrator
I be watching you on the internets of late after Stevie died and yawl gotta lotta nerve to quote the one man who broke all the rules while you sit back on your peasant lives being the same as everyone else. Have you thought differently today? No. Did you pass up your 3 egg and bacon breakfast because you’d rather have the STEAK BUFFET?! No. MORE IMPORTANTLY, have you been foolish? No. Yawl lame, Quoting Steve on facebook dot com, while living your dull, domestic, peasant lives is an offense to the weirdos and nerds everywhere. Yawl are the same people who spew out nonsense like “haters gonna hate”- guess what? Stevie was a hater, made many enemies living and working his way- not yours. PEASANT LIFE. Stevie boy is laughing at all of you from outer space! And I am laughing too because I am Sean Lippy, Steve Jobs Apostle, Thomas Derby’s Boy and I.T. ADMINISTRATOR for DERBY | REYNOLDS – MARKETING SOLUTIONS, A DIVISION OF DERBY | REYNOLDS. Double Damn Me! Like I said befoe, typing that shit is long!
Yes, here’s to the crazy ones like Steve, not to the peasants sharing his words when they be waking up each day living life with ceilings and rules- fuck yawl for bringing me down all these years, for judging me, for being peasants with your peasant offsprings while wondering why I aint stupid enough to make my own peasants yet, and for holding back job opportunities, for hiring the hot blonde with a grade school degree and no brains over me- how that go?! Ha… fuck yawl all day long!
All you peasants are on my time now- LIPPY LESSON #1.
Thank you, Thomas Derby, and to Stevie, for leading the way against peasant life.
Sean Lippy
I.T. Administrator
DERBY | REYNOLDS
E: [email protected]
