PUTTING THE $ BACK INTO YOU$A™!

THE UNITED $TATES OF DERBY | REYNOLD$™!

While your country is celebrating freedom, fast food, real estate, banking, porn, greed, religion, or hell, even while your marketing dollars are being misspent by ad firm owners on 4 day benders, DERBY | REYNOLDS is putting the $ back in the YOU$A™!

That’s right! We are teaming up with our sales raid teams on the east coast and the west coast as they win new clients each day with our “PICK A POOR PLACE!” campaign. Pick a poor place like Rockford, IL, and receive a list of all the ad firms in that area, contact them, ask for an estimate on a job you need done- THEN COME BACK TO US AND WE’LL DISCOUNT IT 50%, FOREVER! READ MORE!

We are bringing THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING to every poor town in the U$A! So why not spend some of your American marketing dollars with us too?  REad more how you and your business can save money now by following 3 easy, free, capitalist driven rules to help your business $ave 50% OFF FOREVER, on other ad firms contracts!

Like we mentioned to begin with;

While your country is celebrating freedom ,fast food, real estate, banking, porn, greed, religion, or hell, even while your marketing dollars are being misspent by ad firm owners on 4 day benders –DERBY | REYNOLDS is putting the $ back in the YOU$A™

Contact us today for more info!

Jennifer Kowalksi
Marketing Research Director
E: jkowalski@derbyreynolds.com

 

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4 Responses to “PUTTING THE $ BACK INTO YOU$A™!”

  1. Mary Diamond #

    …I’m really not sure how to feel about this campaign. Why would you want to compare yourself to Walmart? I mean we’re all aware that they undercut small-time competition to monopolize the market, causing companies to fold and jobs to be lost and syphoning the money out of a community in the long run. Are you trying to spin this into a good thing? Or are you also going to hire the employees of all those companies (at minimum wage) when they go under?

    July 14, 2011 at 4:46 pm
  2. Mary,

    Thank you for prompting a question that has been laughed over repeatedly at company retreats – especially our most recent one in the Cayman Islands. Our founders Thom and Bill pondered this for days in the heart of a recession before settling on the message. We have your answers, though you will be encouraged to think deeper than the average American does. So prepare yourself, because not only are we PUTTING THE $ BACK INTO YOU$A™, we’re PUTTING THE $ BACK INTO COMMON CENT$!

    You asked, “Why would you want to compare yourself to Walmart?” First off, let me correct you, WE ARE THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING™. Notice the hyphen, its placement. Intentional. This is how we avoid copyright infringements. To answer directly, why would we compare ourselves to TARGET when it’s obvious our logo references them? We here acknowledge them as a marketing icon! The big red machine is no different than the big orange surrounding a white polka dot. That white polka dot represents you, everyone, America, 2011. People trapped by greed and corruption. We are here to combat that with out large orange message. We are the official orange alert, Mary. But Why Walmart you ask?

    There is no way to avoid Walmart in America no matter how hard you try. It’s cheaper, first off, and America loves cheap. Even the hipsters who wake up and yell, “Oogity boogity I only shop at mom and pops stores.” No they don’t. Spending less in one place always wins. You’d be a fool to think that every ad firm in your region isn’t already cut-throating each other behind closed doors. WE’ve seen those estimates, and we’re doing it right in front of your face. So it’s up to you and your business whether or not you want to save money, or spend more. It’s simple math. There is nothing confusing about “50% off their estimate.” but we understand if it’s confusing. Jennifer in Marketing Research has been learning that poorer regions of the country that are used to being treated like garbage continue to be treated like garbage because they can’t do proper math.

    We do everything your local ad firm does, and cheaper. Just like Walmart. What sets us apart from Walmart and cheaper, is that we do it better than the ad firms. We have the work and we’re not showing you- that’s the difference. Our business model is set up to HELP all production workers who have been the victims of poor business ethics that a majority of ad firms in America have practiced on the working class.
    Ask yourself this, how many creative proffessionals do you know with jobs, vs. those who are freelancing because they were laid off or fired years ago? We know more freelancers than full time laborers.

    Thom and Bill worked for many greedy, scumbag owners in many ad firms before founding THE WAL-MART OF ADVERTISING. They did well because they worked in sales and account representation. They performed so well that they began to feel guilty about those, designers, programmers, copywriters, that actually spend more time doing the work they would simply have a lunch bender over with a client, and then off to golf, or skiing. Thom & Bill began to grow a conscience about the creative professionals in marketing and advertising who were laid off before everyone else. They didn’t understand the math- these people are the worst paid people in the field, and they were noticing the highest paid individuals kept jobs, while working less than those who were let go of sans severance packages.

    Those workers you reference are already making less than they should in poorer regions. Most of them college educated mind you, making less than a bartendar or waitress. We’ve done the research. Ad firms, the majority of them, mistreat their creative departments. Expect long hours for nothing in return. Money pays the bills my dear, Mary, not long hours unpaid for a deadline due by 8am while the sales team drinks it up at the local Old Chicago tavern over a plate of the Italian Nachos. OH THOSE NACHOS ARE SO GOOD THOUGH!

    Greed will catch up to the best in due time. Mr. Derby & Reynolds decided to make something good of their lives before cancer takes them to the big band in the sky. Good for them and good for us!

    To comment on your other concerns having said such now above. YES. We are looking to take everything we can from greedy ad firms that run a region in czar like fasion. We are going to take their clients, and their employees, because both will be treated much better with Derby | Reynolds. We don’t take a dime, we take a client’s estimate that another ad firm estimates cost on, and we discount it 50% immediately! Even at 50% off their cost, we’re still being fare, and each member of that project that comes to us pays out to the regional rep, and the freelancers contracted to perform, produce and deliver. How do we know we won’t lose money? Easy, we don’t gain what we don’t need, and everyone gets paid before us. How confident are we about the math? We’ve seen our competitors estimates, and they’re out of their fucking minds. Freelancers and a few fair ad firms we’ve researched are already doing the same work at 50% off what many greedy firms charge their clients. Have you ever seen an estimate for a 25k web site? We have. That web site cost our designer and programmer about 5k in time to do. Where is the remaining 20+/-k going on these estimates? Overhead? Come on, Mary. It’s going to Audis, ski trips, summer homes and hookers. These are priorities before an employee gets a yearly raise, insurance guarantees and bonuses. It’s a farce my dear. We’ve done the research and we have no shame taking out greedy mother fuckers.

    Clients are already losing money they shouldn’t be spending with these types of firms, and the employees will be fired in due time when raises or hard work is expected and due for monetary encouranagement to keep bad attitudes from creeping in… and those attitudes are fueled by poor ethical treatment on the backbone of this industry- the designers, writers, programmers, etc. An ad firm secretary or assistant to the CEO does much better than the professional creative with college debt to pay back. We encourage those who feel like they are being mistreated to FIRE THEIR FIRM BEFORE THEY FIRE YOU! Yes, Mary, that is America, 2011.

    You wouldn’t believe the amount of email encouragement we’ve received from freelancers of all skillsets (design, photo, scripting, video, copywriting) and present employees of slave-driving ad firms from many regions that couldn’t be happier to endorse our company. Why? Because Thom and Bill care more about the working class than a majority of the ad firm owners who pollute poorer regions of America with shitty advertising and marketing messages. This is a contributing problem towards economic imbalance. The working class is beat. Every freelancer we talk to is beat to a pulp. We are here to stop it because there is no other company that has or will unless someone steps up. DERBY | REYNOLDS, Mary.
    WE will.

    Either you want to put $ back into your idea of the YOU$A™, invest in yourself while working hard for yourself and your family; or you’d rather squander away your extra pennies on the old American Dream, a broken dream that’s not going to be fixed anytime soon. If you continue to think your local ad firm owners care about the working class, you’ve been fooled. Read deeper here.

    Truth.

    Thank you for your time and comments,

    LaVonne Hayes
    Public Relations
    DERBY | REYNOLDS
    E: lavonnehayes@derbyreynolds.com

    July 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm
  3. Zach S #

    I’m finding it hard to take you guys seriously. You all seem incredibly practiced at writing diatribes and personally attacking your “competitors,” but I’m not seeing much from the “actions speak louder than words” department. Where’s your portfolio? Have you won any awards for your work? Do your employees all act and write like Lippy, and if so, can I really trust you to do any copywriting for my businesses? Your PR people refer to advertising executives as greedy motherfuckers? Have you seen them porking the women who gave birth to them?

    Also, great idea, attacking the cities that businesses have chosen to make their homes in. Pick a poor place? Sounds more like “pick a poor marketing scheme that insults our potential customers” to me! I know that I, for one, would not send you business and would not work for you as a consultant. Honestly, at your bargain-basement prices, you probably couldn’t afford me, and I probably couldn’t trust you to deliver quality work.

    July 26, 2011 at 2:07 am

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