Lippy’s Lessons | 6: Jimmy & Linda Be Stealin’ My Orange Ethernet Cables

Now I know somebody be stealin my orange ethernet cables from the IT supply closet I keep unlocked most days.  I’ve had a hunch for weeks that my orange cables were sneakin out on me but today confirmed my hunches.  Let me say this up front, it ain’t about the cables, it’s about somebody fenda be stealin from me, Sean Lippy, IT Administrator.  Not only does it take a lot longer for these special cables to arrive because of the company logo and shit being on the cable, but it ain’t cool to steal from my mother fucking supplies closet. This shit ain’t cheap, and it sure ain’t free.

I know what yawl got goin on at home, wiring your networks between the childrens rooms and the living room.  Instead of paying me a few extra bucks with a nice dinner to come on over to your white picket fence house, to set up your home network, yawl prefer to steal from me. Shit ain’t cool, mother fuckers. I left for lunch at 12:23 today and I intentionally left my office wide open, along with everything unlocked and guess what?  I RECORDED YAWL MOTHER FUCKERS ON ONE OF THE  IMACS’ EYE CAM I GOTS SITTING HERE WAITING TO BE UPGRADED!  I CAUGHT YAWL AND GO FIGURE, THE THIEVES ARE FROM SHIPPING & RECEIVING.

JIMMY SCHNIEDER AND LINDA ROGERS, CAUGHT, ORANGE MOTHER FUCKIN HANDED. I GOT BOTH YAWL WALKIN IN MY OFFICE, LOOKIING AROUND LAUGHING, STEPPPING INTO MY CLOSET, FUCKING- COME ON NOW- WHY YAWL GOTTA FUCK IN MY OFFICE?!  THEN, YAWL WALK RIGHT OUT WITH 2 MOTHER FUCKING ORANGE CABLES!  LIKE FUCKING IN MY OFFICE WASN’T ENOUGH, JIMMY? MAN I”VE BEEN GOOD TO YOU. WHAT I TELL YOU ABOUT THESE OFFICE GIRLS? MAN IT AIN’T NO DIFFERENT FOR THOSE CRAZY HOES IN SHIPPING & RECEIVING!  BOTH YAWL IN TROUBLE.

Yawl best think twice about what choo do when I ain’t here cause my mother fuckin’ eye cams be runnin 24/7 now and I, Sean LIppy, IT ADMINISTRATOR, fenda report yawl.

Sean Lippy
IT Administrator
DERBY | REYNOLDS
E: seanlippy@derbyreynolds.com

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