Lippy’s Lessons | 4: LaVonne in Public Relations made me very mad today.

LaVonne has been on my back all day about my language on the internets and I was like, “Scuse me Ms. Hayes? Who the hell do you think you are? I’ve seen what you’ve been saying to the consumers on the web site!” She be like, “Sean, there’s a big difference how and when I swear vs. how you swear publicly.  I choose my words carefully- you come across as an angry I.T. guy.  I come across as a nice, authoritative lady who knows her mother fucking shit.”

I could not stop laughing! That old ho be swearing right at my face telling me to watch my mother fucking language on the internets?! So I best be telling her now on the internets what I really think about my language vs. her language!

“Listen here, LaVonne. My name is Sean Mother Fucking Lippy. I work in IT, you work in Public Relations.  I don’t need to worry about shit. YOU NEED TO WORRY, NOT ME, LAVONNE, I KNOW MORE THAN 10 MOTHER FUCKING LANGUAGES- HOW MANY YOU KNOW LAVONNE?! HUH?  I know PHP, CSS, HTML, HTML5, FRENCH, JAVASCRIPT, C++, SPANISH, MS-DOS, ENGLISH, AS, ASP, RUSSIAN AND SO MANY MORE I CAN’T KEEP UP. You mind your own fucking business and I’ll mind my own. If you can’t, I fend to report your actions to Mr. Derby and Reynolds. Those mother fuckers know what’s up with my speech in the YOU$A. FREEDOM, LAVONNE, FREEDOM. You don’t like it? Yawl can move to Texas, or Nebraska. You best watch yourself, LaVonne, cause this mother fucker sees all your emails- and I know what you be up to with that Match dot com shit during work hours.”

Sean Lippy don’t have time for this bullshit on a Monday.

Sean Lippy
IT Administrator
DERBY | REYNOLDS
E: seanlippy@derbyreynolds.com

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